We’ve moved out of our intensive week of attachment therapy and boy is that aptly named! We are now into the “follow up” portion of attachment therapy. This consists of once a week appointments doing the same kinds of activities we did during the intensive week. If you haven’t been following us on our journey it starts here “3 Reasons we are beginning attachment therapy and why you might want to also”. While we had great training on parenting children from traumatic backgrounds before we began attachment therapy, what we are learning in therapy has been, by far the most helpful. If you haven’t downloaded my free printable with attachment activities based on Dr. Sudsberry’s work, I really, really, hope you do. It’s incredibly helpful. Put your email here and click so I can get that to you.
So here is the attachment therapy process as designed by Dr. Richard Sudsberry. Each step is based on either a one-on-one relationship with one parent and one child or a two-on-one relationship with two parents and one child. If you have more than one child the therapist will work with you in “groups”. For example, she might work with one parent and one child for half the session and then switch to another parent and child the second half.
Evaluation
In this phase, the therapist evaluates your child’s relationship with you. She does this through having you participate in simple activities with your child. In order to get a more accurate assessment, she is not in the room with you while you interact with your child. The session is recorded to be viewed later. If you’re nervous about this step like I was you can read about my evaluation here:
“So, What actually Happens in the Back Room of an Attachment Therapy Evaluation?”
Review
This session happens without children. The parents are invited back to the therapy center to review the recorded evaluation sessions with the therapist. During this time the therapist will point out the significance in your child’s behaviors and what those behaviors tell her about “the 4 elements of secure attachment”. Put your email here and click so I can send you the four elements and simple activities you can do with your child to strengthen each element of attachment.
Intensive Week
This begins the actual therapy of attachment therapy! Based on your child’s needs, you will meet with the therapist for either 5 or 10 week days in a row. You’ll meet for 2-4 hours a day participating in strategically chosen activities to help bring the child along in his/her relationship with you. These sessions will also be recorded. Part of the 2-4 hours is used for you, the caregiver, to review the recorded sessions and discuss things that went well, things that didn’t, why your child did such-and-such, etc. with the therapist. This part is done without the child present. I know it seems like a lot- and it is- but it also goes very quickly and you’ll see the benefit of this intensive week because it helps you to start recognizing the patterns of underlying issues in your child’s behavior.
Follow Up
Behavior shifts take mindset shifts and mindset shifts take time. So for the next 10-12 weeks you’ll meet with the therapist once a week. You’ll continue to participate in activities with your child and review the sessions afterward –taking plenty of time to discuss with the therapist what’s happening at home and what you need help with. These weeks are where the shifting starts to take place. You see changes. You see more genuine affection on the part of your children. You see them become able to work through challenges better without freaking out (Mom’s of kids from trauma – you understand freak out!). This works and you will start to see it.
After about 10-12 weeks, your therapist will suggest you reduce your visits to every other week, then once every three weeks and possibly once a month for about a year. I know this seems like a long time, but trust me, one year of meeting once a month is only 12 visits the entire year. 12 visits is worth avoiding a lifetime of hatred from your child. It is worth it! Stick with it!
And there you have it folks! An overview of Dr. Richard Sudsberry’s attachment therapy process. Again, for a very simple way to start working with you kiddos at home on some of these ideas put your email here and click. It is not the same as therapy, which I highly recommend, but it is still very helpful.
(Note: I created the image using Pic Monkey’s free photo editing website. Check them out here. This post may also contain affiliate links. For more information, read my Disclosure Policy here.)