We struggle, our kids struggle, that’s just the way it is. If we didn’t realize that when becoming foster parents or adoptive parents, we do now. But there is also this remarkable benefit to being foster parents. We get to see our children’s’ accomplishments for what they truly are, explosions of progress blasting a route through the mountain of their past.
I pick up my kindergartner from school to see that she has paint on her shirt.
“Did you paint at school today?”
“Uh-huh”
“What did you paint? Was it green?”
“Uh-huh, with my fingers.”
“You painted with your fingers today?!” I try not to over-react with joy and pride as she offers up her paper to me.
“Yes. Here.”
I take the paper from her to see that she very carefully painted inside the lines of a bubble letter ‘G’.
That’s it. No mountain tunneling path here. No big explosion of growth.
Right?
Then why do I want to dance! I want to pick her up and swing her around and beam in her face and scream to the heavens!
I don’t do any of those things. She’s tired. It would push her into her shell instead of draw her out. Instead, I look in her eyes and say with conviction, “It’s great. I love it. I’m so happy you decided to finger-paint this letter ‘G’.” I hold her tiny little hands and smile at her, then let them go and walk her to the car.
That, my friends, was a moment. A mountain blasting, tunnel boring, life altering foot of ground moment.
That was a child who had been so sensory deprived from the first years of life that touching goopy paint was a monumental accomplishment.
That was a child who, not only touched the ewwy, gooey, paint but who focused her efforts enough to control where she put the scary sensory stuff. She didn’t fling it from her fingers, wipe it in her hair to get it off as soon as possible. She hadn’t spread it all over the table, herself, and others. No, with a crazy sensation running from fingers to brain, she had focused her attention and painted within the lines.
This was HUGE, life altering stuff! And this little five year old had broken through all on her own.
Moments like this are the gems of being an adoptive parent. They are overlooked. They are disguised as “normal” but they are anything but ordinary.
Collect them. Treasure them. They are significant and YOU are a part of it.
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