Some mornings you hit the alarm, flop back in bed and start the mental preparation for what will most likely be a challenging day.
It’s just the kids and I today, you think. They’re ALL home and the hubby is gone.
You run through the “NORMAL for a foster parent or adoptive parent” list of concerns and how you plan to address them. Some mornings, this is just taking care of business. Some mornings, you’re addressing legitimate obstacles for your day. However, some mornings you’ve already got the tell-tale signs that you’re operating from fear. Those legitimate obstacles have turned into insurmountable mountains before your feet even hit the floor. You know how it goes….
My stamina is going to give out. I’m going to snap at someone. I’m not going to get there to be available right away when there is an issue. When I’m not there right away to help them regulate there will be a melt down. Once they are in melt down it will be that much more time to bring them back to a logical state. If they get to a melt down state they’ve built the neural synapses to that bad habit yet again. Instead of helping them grow past this I’ve made their growing process harder by not being there.
What is the food plan for the day? Are meals and snacks all lined up so that food prep can go smoothly? If it doesn’t go smoothly and my child is freaking out because the food doesn’t appear instantaneously, how do I plan to stop and comfort and help them regulate when stopping to help them regulate delays the very thing they have mistrust over?
I’m already behind on laundry and I just know someone is going to wake up soaked this morning. No one got up to pee last night. I’m thankful. I got more sleep but now there’s one more job to do once they get up.
How am I going to enjoy them today? How am I going to really genuinely be happy to be their mom when they’re screaming at me and hating me? I’m not sure I can do that today. I’ll just power through. But I CAN’T! They will not feel loved if I just power through. I need to love them genuinely and deeply nourish them not just deal with them. God help me do that the way you do that for me so they can see who you are. There’s no way I can selflessly do that on my own.
Mind still running, I make my way to the kitchen and the coffee maker.
YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! We are out of coffee! Grrrr. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??!! O.K. deep breath. Count to five. Plan ‘B’ Starbucks and then grocery store run first thing today. O.K. God you’ve got this because I don’t.
We’ve got a play date today and it’s at a BAD time of the day for them. I know my kids will be worn out and cranky. They are just going to be mean to the poor children during play time. Why did I do that? Bad decision. Any other day I would just cancel but we’ve had to cancel on this family too many times. [Deep breath] Oh well. Too late now. Lord help me to let it go and love in the midst of chaos this afternoon.
When does my husband plan on getting home tonight because it’s going to be a long day.
That was me this morning. I hear you. I know what it’s like.
So, stop, take a deep breath and pray. Because God’s got this anyway. No matter how the day goes – if everything that could possibly goes wrong, does, He’s still got this and He’s still good.
If you didn’t hear me the first time, go ahead and take that deep breath now. 🙂
Stop running through scenarios.
Pray.
Trust.
Okay. Are we good? Is your head back in the game?
Okay, now you can get back to planning – but only if that planning comes from a place of love for your kids and trust in God’s goodness. If it doesn’t, it won’t genuinely benefit you or your family. If it’s fear based all you’re doing is setting yourself up to fail and live out that which you are afraid of. God’s got this and no matter what the day ends up looking like He is good and so are all His plans.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” Lamentations 3:22-33 (emphasis added)
“The mind of man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Let us know how you’re going to put the kibosh on worry and trust God today. Share in the comments below! I’m sure your story will be exactly what someone needs to hear today.
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