Foster care and adoption do more than change lives. They save lives — including mine.
I have shared before that many aspects of my childhood were idyllic: Summers catching pollywogs, fishing and camping, climbing (and falling out of) trees, riding bicycles through fields and making crafts at Vacation Bible School; Thanksgiving tables so long they snaked through three rooms at Grandma’s house and included every type of pie imaginable; and countless hours spent playing Pick-Up-Sticks, Twister and kick-the-can at dusk with cousins.
Unfortunately, there was a darker, troubling flipside to that fairytale life. People my parents trusted were deceitful and sneaky, violent and manipulative. My first death threat was at age 5, and I was only 7 when I had my head cracked open by a metal plate from the base of an old, wringer-style washing machine for being “too lazy” to hold and hang an entire load of dripping wet laundry on the clothesline (which I was too short to reach). By the time I entered my teen years, I did not think I would live to adulthood.
“By the time I entered my teen years, I did not think I would live to adulthood. “
I got lucky in high school, though. An observant teacher took notice of something I wrote and asked me about it. I initially denied the abuse, then nearly vomited from guilt for lying to a teacher. I called her that afternoon and within minutes, she was at my house. She looked me in the eyes and told me I was strong, at a time when I felt helpless and weak. Her actions put into motion a series of events that would lead me into foster care. It saved my life.
Unfortunately, my story is just one of millions repeating over time. Right now, more than 400,000 children are in foster care in the United States. Of those, about one-fourth will be unable to reunite with birth families and need permanent, loving, safe, “forever families.” I was in foster care at a time when anyone over pre-school age was considered “un-adoptable” and thousands languished in care, simply waiting to age out of the system. I am so thankful that is no longer the philosophy. Now, homes are sought for every child, regardless of their age. And since 1995, November is recognized annually as National Adoption Month — a time to bring awareness about the need for permanency for all children and youth in foster care.
“I was fortunate. I was eventually placed with…”
Nevada is not immune to this issue: Our state has hundreds of children in foster care and there are dozens of Northern Nevada children unable to be reunited with birth families due to no fault of their own. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Children’s Bureau chose the theme “Youth Voices: Why Family Matters” to highlight the needs of older children who are less likely to be adopted. Many of those youth age out of the foster care system without positive, reliable adult connections to help guide and emotionally support them.
I was fortunate. I was eventually placed with a family who treated me as if I was adopted. They embraced all of me — stubborn, quiet, frightened. And they, along with a cherished mentor I met at independent living skills classes for foster youth, encouraged me to dream.
Flash forward three decades. I am a foster-adoptive mom of three, writer, artist and advocate. Not bad for someone who never thought she would be 18.
I am living proof that adoption offers hope today and can transform generations. For information on foster care or adoption, please visit: dcfs.nv.gov.
Note from Parents of Foster Care If you are interested in pursuing foster care, contact your local county’s Department of Child Services. Depending on your state, this department might also be called Child Protective Services, or Department of Child and Family Services.
Hiedi Andersen is a public relations consultant, writer and amateur photographer. She lives in Yerington, NV, and can be contacted at: hiediandersen3@gmail.com.
This article was originally published in the Reno Gazette Journal on November 13, 2019. It is republished here by permission of the author, Hiedi Anderson.
Image of Pie modified from Alper Cugun’s image titled Pie. Image of teacher modified from Kevin Dooley’s image titled Teacher. Both are licensed under Creative Commons Legal Code Attribution 2.0
