Encouragement Archives - Page 3 of 10 - Parents of Foster Care

So, life leaked out like gack in a cracked container – its time to get it back

01.13.2017 by Sarah //

I’m back!

I really let time management get away from me over Christmas Break.

It was good. We really needed to focus on family and let a lot of things go. So we did. We honed in on our kid’s emotional states, spent time with them, and provided as much structure as possible while still participating in Christmas festivities.

But, now I’m really itching to get back to my goals, productivity, and YOU!

Do you feel me? Did life get a little “oozy” over the last few weeks? Kind of leaking out everywhere like the gack in a cracked container? (If you haven’t found THAT stuff in a puddle somewhere I salute you!)

Well, it’s time to get back at it! I’ve started flexing my bedtime and morning routine muscles again and am LOVING IT. As a foster mama, it took me a good long while to figure out what routines would both benefit me and work for my children (and every time we added a new kiddo they changed). The typical time management stuff just doesn’t work for us foster mamas! So, here are my Very-Unique-Foster-Parent-Only-Tips for getting your time back this year. Put your info here and I’ll send it to you right now.

I’d also encourage you to check out Crystal’s Make Over Your Mornings or Make Over Your Evenings courses (whichever you think will suite you best). Right now, this is the only time management resource out there I recommend for us Foster Mamas. Crystal isn’t a foster parent, but her info is short, simple and flexible enough to work for us and our unique situations (Plus, they are really inexpensive – usually $17).

So, Happy New Year Foster Mamas! Let’s find a new container for that gack.
:0) Sarah

(Note: I modified the image using Pic Monkey’s free photo editing website. Check them out here. The original photo was taken by Olle Svensson. It did not contain any text. It’s licensing can be found here. This post may also contain affiliate links. For more information, read my Disclosure Policy here.)

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Life, Laundry, and Musical Toys in the Middle of the Night

11.23.2016 by Sarah //

It was 3 am. I had just stepped on the flashing, musical demon of a plastic toy. The one that threatened to wake the entire house as I was on my way to get the crying child. It had been a long day, week, few months, and I froze – waiting the evil song out to see if it’s tortuous potential would come true. The music stopped. And, so had the upset child. I waited. No one made a sound. Whew

Relief as deep as it gets settled into my bones and I finished making my way toward my little one. Slowly picking her up, I was thankful this one knew our routine. After only 30 minutes she was back to sleep and tucked in tight.

That’s when it hit me. How incredibly grateful I was for the sleeping, peaceful family in my home. And how the demon toy had brought this realization about. If it hadn’t scared me out of my goal oriented get child, sooth child, get back to sleep as soon as possible haze I would have missed this moment. I would have missed this thankfulness for my sleeping family and these these extra few minutes of gratitude.

So, here is this foster mom’s list of thanks giving – beginning with musical toys in the middle of the night.

That the musical toy I stepped on in the middle of the night to get the crying child didn’t wake the rest of them.
For a husband who loves our children, spends time with them, and wants to change the world by being a really great parent.
For all of our kids’ biological families who chose to give them life and the little ways they love them.
A Great attachment therapist who has helped us at every bump in the road.
Family that welcomes each foster child as if he were our very own child – no matter how long he stays.
Great books such as Flap Your Wings and Loving Parents: Raising Hurting Children
Social workers and Casas who care about our foster children and their biological families.
Laundry – all of it – but only when it’s clean (who said anything about folded and put away?)
Case managers who come along side our children’s biological families and help them every step of the way.
A perfect God who loves us in these great big messes that we make and always provides a way through.
Friends I can call and cry on the phone with when life gets a little too messy for me to see God at work. They help point the way back to Him.
A job. Actual, physical work that provides an income so we can keep loving our kiddos.

Happy Thanks Giving Ya’ll!

Free Attachment Resource

Fostering a secure relationship with your kiddos is oh, so important! Here are 4 elements of a secure attachment and activities to establish it with your children. Put your email address here and “click” so I can send it to you.

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(Note: I created the image using Pic Monkey’s free photo editing website. Check them out here. This post may also contain affiliate links. For more information, read my Disclosure Policy here.)

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How to Plan for Holidays with Foster Children

11.19.2016 by Sarah //

Let’s talk about planning for the holidays with foster children in your home. While there are a lot of emotional considerations that need to take place, that’s not what I’m focusing on. I’m talking about planning for your foster children’s actual physical presence, when, like I wrote in my post called ‘Foster Care and Dealing with Uncertainty’ you’re not guaranteed they will actually be with you on any given holiday.

So, how do you do it? Flexibility and a backup plan.

In our family, we start asking questions out as far in advance as we can.

“Will our foster child be doing a special visit for Thanksgiving?”, for example.

We ask the social worker. We ask the visit coordinator. It’s also great to ask this in a Family Team Meeting. We try to get a feel of the land and start placing the idea in the minds of those involved to be thinking about this early. If folks are thinking about it early, you can ask for a firm decision sooner rather than later.

Then, if we don’t receive an immediate answer, we plan as if this child is part of our family (because they are). We plan on them doing everything with us. And, if our child has special needs, such as sensory or dietary needs, we accommodate our family plans to meet those needs just like we would for a permanent member of our family. That means, if we need to leave a family function early because our foster kiddo needs to leave early then we do. Our extended family does not come above our immediate family.

We also have a backup plan. For example, what will travel look like if our foster child does end up spending the holiday with his/her biological family? Will we need to leave our family functions early to accommodate that? Or, will we need someone to care for our foster child either before or after his/her visit depending on our travel plans? Will we need to invite family over to our place instead of traveling to see them in order to accommodate our child’s visit? Who will watch our foster child if a visit is somehow cut short and we are unable to get back in time to pick him/her up from the unexpected change in plans?

These are the logistics that need to be considered and, as much as possible, planned for. However, things can change last minute in foster care and thinking about the holidays as just one more ‘normal’ day in which the unexpected can be expected will help cut down on frustration. We all want our holidays to be special, and they will be, we just can’t think of them as separate from the normal challenges of foster care.

So, plan, be flexible, and enjoy life with your special family!

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(Note: I created the image using Pic Monkey’s free photo editing website. Check them out here. This post may also contain affiliate links. For more information, read my Disclosure Policy here.)

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